How to use affirmations to deal with difficult family members

People are afraid of seeing difficult family members for all kinds of reasons. They are desperate when they have to endure a difficult situation personalityintrusive questions, the feeling of being unseen and the unwillingness of others to change.

One of the many helpful steps you can take to prepare for seeing difficult family members is to ground yourself with helpful things affirmations. Affirmations are essentially helpful reminders that you can offer yourself at a certain time. Below I outline several types of affirmations that you can draw on when you are around difficult family members.

Some people need to be reminded that what they are used to seeing their relatives do will likely happen again. That desire to change others – or the wish that others would finally change – often leads to enormous changes mourning and fear. For those stuck in that cycle of hope and despondency, these affirmations can help.

• I will expect the expected.
• I won’t be shocked if people are themselves.
• I don’t expect others to change.
• I can be tender towards myself.

Others need to be reminded that they have control over how they respond to the people in front of them. You can’t force someone else to be respectful, but you can manage your relationship with that disrespect. For those who need a reminder of your agency in difficult situations, you can say affirmations like:

• I will respond instead of react.
• I have no control over others, only my reactions to them.
• I can observe the dynamics without participating.
• I can walk away if someone is inflammatory.
• I can change the subject or defuse it humor.
• I will stand my ground.
• I will let it go.

Still others feel deeply conflicted about holding on boundaries with difficult family members. The hardest part of setting boundaries is not setting the initial boundary, but defending and reinforcing it. For those who struggle with boundaries, these affirmations can help.

• I can protect my energy.
• It’s okay to set boundaries.
• Just because they don’t understand my boundaries doesn’t mean they’re wrong.
• Borders are not cruelty.
• I am rooted in my values.
• I can take care of myself.

Some feel trapped in the pain of being misunderstood by family members. They want to be fully seen and understood by loved ones who cannot or will not see them as they need to be seen. For those grieving the feeling of being unseen and misunderstood, these affirmations may help:

• I can mourn what this relationship never was and can never be.
• I have loving people in my life who really see and know me.
• It’s okay for my family to misunderstand me.
• It’s okay if they just don’t get me.
• It’s okay to wish my family would accept me.
• It’s okay that this is hard.
• I don’t have to keep proving myself.
• I’m not a child anymore.

Interactions with difficult family members can touch all kinds of deep wounds. By pinpointing the hardest part of these encounters and arming yourself with gentle affirmations, you can make more room for joy—or at least neutrality—when you need it most.