7 Subtle Signs of a Man Who Will Never Actually Commit

Okay, be honest, if you’re reading this article you’re wondering if your man has commitment issues, and you just want to know. Good for you! It’s better to look for the signs sooner rather than later so you can move on and find the love you’re looking for.

Of course, it’s not just men who have a commitment phobia; many women have that too. But it seems like it’s more often a problem in boys, which is a whole different topic.

Here are 7 subtle signs of a man who will never truly commit

1. He doesn’t want to meet your friends and family

Men with commitment issues often don’t want to meet their partner’s friends or family. To some extent this is a sign of good character because once the families are involved things change but it is not someone who wants to be in a relationship.

When you try to introduce your husband to a friend or family member, does he make excuses? Does he disappear when a loved one comes to visit? Does he insist that his friends are busy when you want to meet them? Is he saying that he just wants to spend time alone with you, and that this is more important to him?

If your man does any of these things, it’s a sign that he’s commitment-phobic. He knows that getting to know your friends and family will take the relationship to another level, something he just doesn’t want to do because he’s not sure he wants to stay.

So pay attention to whether he wants to meet your friends and family, and don’t use the excuse that he just wants to spend time with you. It may feel good, but that’s what it is no sign of a relationship with a future.

2. He doesn’t talk about the future

He silently touches her face as he walks along the beach Dean Drobot via Shutterstock

When you were first together, did your husband sometimes talk about the future? What would you do together, and how much fun would you have? Doesn’t he do that a lot now? When you start talking about the future, does he refuse to participate? Worse yet, when he starts talking about the future, does he not mention you?

A man who doesn’t talk about the future is a man who doesn’t want to commit researched by Emery, L.F., and Le, B. He’s a man who hedges his bets and enjoys the time he has with you now, but with one foot out the door.

Don’t take this as a one-day-at-a-time thing, as he might say. He’s probably not all in, but he wants to have fun in the meantime.

3. He tells you he wants to take things slow

Just like a man who doesn’t want to talk about the future, a man who says he wants to take things slow is someone who isn’t all in.

For a man who wants a relationshiphe works hard to be in it. He meets your family, is there when you need him, doesn’t disappear or make excuses. Someone who says he wants to take it easy is someone who doesn’t want to commit.

Remember when you were dating another guy and at the end of a date your date told you he wanted to take things slow and then never called you again? Look, it’s just an excuse.

So don’t make excuses for why your husband wants to discuss things slowly. If he’s not ready to jump in with both feet, he’s not ready at all.

4. He is emotionally unavailable

He gestures not knowing, she looks unsure GaudiLab via Shutterstock

When you try to talk about emotional things, does your husband shut down? When you want to talk about the relationship or how you’re feeling, does he make excuses to leave the conversation and refuse to rejoin when you ask him to?

It can be difficult for men to show their emotions, and for someone who doesn’t want to commit, it’s not worth making the effort to do so. After all, why spend time on something difficult if you don’t have to?

And while he cares enough about you to spend time with you and be intimate with you, he doesn’t care enough about emotional involvement, like proposed by the Relationship Initiation Handbook. And that’s a huge red flag.

So be honest with yourself. Does your husband avoid conversations related to your relationship or your feelings? If he does, he may very well be commitment-phobic.

5. You feel insecure in the relationship

Once again, you are here reading this article. If you do this, chances are you will feel insecure in your relationship.

Most women know that when their man doesn’t want a committed relationship, they just hope that things will change. They hope that if they try hard enough, love their husband enough, and get their friends to like and care for them, their husband will fall in love with them.

What I can promise you is that none of these things will happen. If a man doesn’t want to commit, you do everything you can to make him love you, you just push him away.

Don’t ignore this red flag. A healthy relationship is part of that making someone feel safe and loved. If you don’t feel that way, that’s a big sign that your guy doesn’t want to stick around forever.

6. They are not great communicators

She holds the baby, he expresses his annoyance with his hands and face NDAB Creativity via Shutterstock

In addition to not being emotionally available, guys who are afraid of a relationship are guys who can’t communicate very well.

They are guys who might disappear for a few days, text less than usual, or spend a lot of time without you with their friends. The important thing is that they don’t tell you about it. They just do their own thing and leave you wondering what’s going on.

What does this do? It tells you that they don’t like you because a man who is in love with a woman is a man who will communicate. The Handbook of communication and social interaction skills demonstrates how he will respect her enough that he will tell her what he is doing and when he will not be available.

So don’t make excuses for your husband’s lack of communication. Don’t think he’ll pull away so he can think about his feelings for you. Don’t tell yourself that it’s okay for everyone to have complete independence in a relationship and that it’s a healthy sign. That’s not it!

7. He chooses fights

Guys who aren’t all in are guys who are moody and pick fights that don’t need to be picked.

They will be impatient and condescending. They will gaslight you and make you feel like everything is your fault, like explained by a qualitative analysis in the Personal relationship diary. They will make you feel insecure and insecure about yourself.

And for a lot of guys, the reason they do this is because you break up with them.

One of the worst traits of many men is that they don’t want to hurt a woman by breaking up with her. so they breadcrumb and treat her badly, hoping their wife will break up with her. When I try to explain the inequity of this argument to men, they just don’t understand. So they do it again and again.

Does your man choose fights? Do you feel like he’s not the person you fell for, but a new crabby person you’re tiptoeing around? If so, this could be a sign he is commitment-phobicand I want to warn you not to make excuses for your husband and his behavior.

Don’t think that if you love him enough things will change. If your man shows any of these symptoms, walk away. Walk away and find the love you deserve! You can do it!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC-based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate who works exclusively with women to help them be everything they want to be. Mitzi’s bylines have appeared in MSN, Prevention, Huffington Post and Psych Central, among others.

7 Subtle Signs of a Man Who Will Never Actually Commit | Mitzi Bockmann