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And you’ll never guess what city beat us.
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Apparently, Philadelphians have a lot of sex in public places. / Photo: Allison Meier
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According to the website Lucky.me, Philadelphia is a popular place for public sex. Lucky conducted an entire survey, asking residents of American cities how often they had sex in public places, where and what base they reached.
Here are the top 10:
1. Sacramento
2. Philadelphia
3. Denver
4. Portland, OR
5. San Diego
6.Louisville
7. Los Angeles
8. San Francisco
9. Memphis
10.Albuquerque
Second place! We did it! Where everyone could see.
And good for you, Sacramento. You wanted it more. You dug deep and pulled out. Most of the cities on the list are sunny, but I think Denver has a ton of clubbing going on. Portland is home to the Decamberists, the most erotic rock band in the industry
I tend to shrug off all these stupid clickbait city ranking surveys – most walkable, least Segway-friendly, and worst place for horse fighting – but this has a disgusting grain of truth to it. How many times have you had to attend a sunset orgy along the Schuylkill River Trail? And who among us hasn’t shared a sensual headdress with an off-duty transit cop on the empty upper levels of the Fashion District?
What do you think, Philadelphia? Is that us? Are we passionate or nasty? Or drunk or high? Horny or horny? Should we, as a city, rent a room?
Man walks into Eagles tailgate and says “Go Steelers”
Pennsylvania Senate candidate David McCormick came to town yesterday and tweeted a few things. What could he do at home? Where is home? He says in Pittsburgh. Others say Connecticut.*
First, he went to the tailgate at the Linc and said he was “excited to see the Steelers throttle the Raiders!” What, like on your phone?
He then went to Marconi Plaza to stand in front of a small statue of Christopher Columbus with his “friend,” prominent Philadelphia lawyer George Bochetto. Bochetto says he “dedicated the last four years of (his) life saving this monument and fighting against the woke Democratic administration in Philadelphia.”
My friend George Bochetto did an amazing job preserving the Christopher Columbus statue here in Philadelphia.
We must protect Italian-American history! pic.twitter.com/rqa6wwA9iz
— Dave McCormick (@DaveMcCormickPA) October 13, 2024
Do people still come for this statue of little Columbus? I tried texting my mafia friends, but they weren’t up yet. I assume the Delaware Avenue “throbelisk” will be the first to get the axe.
*McCormick, by the way, is a Republican running against Bob Casey Jr. He is currently bleeding in the polls. Some say he’s a Dr. Oz drag and doesn’t even live in Pennsylvania. He claims he actually lives here, in a mansion in Pittsburgh. Only his school-age children live at their Connecticut residence. I hope he checks in on them from time to time.
Go finance it
I’m sure you’ve heard the terrible story about the emergency room nurses at Penn Presbyterian Hospital who were injured after being hit by a driver over the weekend. Here is a verified GoFundMe page where you can help victims and their families.
By the numbers
6oz: That’s how big the cookies are at Levain Bakery in New York. Last weekend, people lined up for free samples at Rittenhouse’s grand opening.
$1,950 in Bitcoin: How much internet bastards tried to extort a Philadelphia woman using the Google Street View sextortion scam. If this happens to you, don’t pay them. First of all, they don’t actually have “compromising videos.” Secondly, you run the risk of someone trying to talk to you about blockchain.
$1.3 billion Jackpot on an unclaimed lottery ticket purchased in Neptune, New Jersey.
17: Vice President Kamala Harris’ number of visits to Pennsylvania this year, including a campaign stop in Philadelphia on Wednesday.
200: Number of schools, including Philadelphia, whose lunches were potentially affected by Listeria contamination in chicken products. An Oklahoma company has recalled more than 10 million pounds of poultry products.
94 years old: How long did Gillian’s Wonderland Pier operate on the Ocean City Boardwalk before it closed for the last time yesterday.
Solve this little mystery
I saw this little weirdo at the Penrose Diner yesterday. I think it’s some kind of Halloween decoration, but other than that it leaves me scratching my head. Is this a character from some children’s TV show, or was the sculptor just acting it out? Is that a candy corn goblin? A sentient piece of cake? Someone in a costume? If so, what costume is it? What’s the deal with pumpkin binding? And the bow tie? And those terrifyingly thin, stringy limbs? The more you look, the weirder it gets.
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