After years of hard work, I found an easy job at Amazon. I felt deeply guilty until I realized this might be a strategic move.

After years at Amazon, Kristi Coulter found herself in an easy role that played to her strengths. Photo courtesy of Kristi Coulter; Getty Images; Alyssa Powell/BI

• Kristi Coulter was working at Amazon when she found herself in an unexpectedly easy role.

• She enjoyed less stress and a better work-life balance, but felt guilty about the cop-out.

• She realized that working in a management position gave her the opportunity to be confident, effective and a better employee.

On a bright April afternoon a few years ago, I walked up to my desk at Amazon in Seattle, freshly showered, and sipping on the smoothie I’d taken after running 4 miles.

I greeted my colleague and looked over the agenda for the next meeting again. I felt prepared, so I used the 20 minutes before the start to make some thoughtful changes to my proposal next week and to order flowers for a friend who had just had surgery.

Don’t look too relaxed, I warned myself. Just in case someone was passing by, I frowned, staring at the screen as if I was solving an unsolvable problem.

When the time came for the meeting, I stepped in with a slightly tortured look on my face, lest anyone guess the truth: I had been sailing and drifting for months.

I got an easy job at Amazon that I didn’t know existed

I didn’t plan on backing out when I changed teams. My new role as a member of Amazon’s executive development department was very fraught in some ways and required the use of muscles I hadn’t used in years.

But the pace was much slower than anything I had seen in my eight years at Amazon; it was more like a university research department than the breakneck chaos I was used to. The work was predictable and made great use of my natural strengths and areas of expertise such as writing, research and teaching.

Within a month, I realized I had found myself in something I didn’t know existed at Amazon: an easy job.

I also realized that I like having an easy job. The work wasn’t particularly demanding, but I still found it intellectually stimulating. I slept well that night and didn’t wake up in a panic. My boss made time for me when I needed it. I ate real food for lunch, not chalky protein bars.

And instead of spending all day in meetings and then doing my work in the evening, I was now often able to do my work at work, during the day – or even sneak out for an occasional run.

At first I felt like I was cheating

My husband, friends and therapist noticed that I looked much younger and sunnier. Yet I secretly felt guilty. Amazon taught me to think I should be treading water, barely keeping up to date with everything I need to do and know. Feeling calm and confident is almost like cheating a company.

I finally came clean over coffee to an Amazon VP of technology I had worked with in the past, someone known for fearlessly taking on projects for which there was no roadmap.

“It’s easy for me to kick ass in this job,” I said, lowering my voice to a whisper. – I feel bad about this.

She laughed loudly. “What? “Never, ever feel bad for swimming for even a moment,” she said. She told me that she had done it herself in the past to rest and prepare for the next, more difficult job.

I was a person who only took on difficult jobs throughout my career. Before, I only took difficult classes. Since kindergarten, I have been trying to do more, faster and better.

The vice president was the first person to tell me that this was not only acceptable, but also wise I take my foot off the gas pedal from time to time.

Her advice stuck with me. When this happened, I began to notice that downshifting not only made me a calmer person, but also made me a more effective worker. I made smarter strategic decisions and saw the corners more clearly. My communication has improved. As my work became stronger, my confidence grew by leaps and bounds.

Like many technology companies, Amazon’s performance management style has tended to focus briefly on our strengths and then discuss our “gaps” in depth and detail. I had to constantly chase skills I didn’t already have, which led me to neglect and underestimate my existing strengths. In my “easy” role, I developed these core strengths even further and sought new skills to complement them.

I’ve learned the art of the catwalk – and you can too

Phrases like “quit quietly” and “lazy girl’s job” didn’t exist back then, but I don’t think they would have applied even if they had. While working in shipping, I learned new things and took risks. When circumstances required it, I worked hard and put in long hours.

But I didn’t put work before my own health and happiness. I no longer assumed that hard work had to mean struggle or fear of inadequacy. I realized that I could work hard with quiet confidence—and even if the job came easy, that didn’t make it any less valuable to Amazon. What mattered was the results, not the harm I suffered in delivering them.

Sailing is an art and if you want to try it, here’s my best advice:

This is not “quiet resignation”

Coasting isn’t about testing or turning off your brain. The idea is to turn the knobs down just enough to find a moment to breathe. You still want to feel engaged in your work, but not overwhelmed.

You don’t have to broadcast it

After coffee with my VP friend, I stopped feeling like I had to pretend that I was as stressed as ever. But I also didn’t go around proclaiming, “Wow, I could do this job in my sleep!” It’s better to exercise restraint, especially if others around you are fried.

Create your own coast

If moving to a new position is not practical, you can still carve out a space for yourself to unwind. Perhaps that means saying no to side projects and ad hoc committees that offer a lot of work for little reward. (Women especially get dragged into these tasks under the guise of being “helpful,” and all that help costs more than you think.)

If you’re a manager who struggles to let go of tasks you have no interest in doing, perhaps your reward for finally learning to delegate will be a runway. Or maybe it’s as simple as raising your hand more selectively for a few quadrants.

Have an exit strategy

I planned my offshore role to be a rotational one, so I always knew I would be kicked out of the nest in two years. At first I assumed I would go back to my old, crazy ways of closing gaps. However, once I relied on my natural talents, I decided that there was no point in abandoning them.

When I stopped working on the runway, it was due to a lot of work in a dynamically developing, futuristic part of the Amazon. I had to go through the standard internal interview loop, but the former vice president recruited me and there were no other candidates.

When I met my future boss, I could look him in the eye and say, “I’m the best person in the entire company for this role,” and I meant it.

Amazon representatives declined to comment on this matter.

Kristi Coulter she spent 12 years at Amazon and left in 2018. She is the author of “Final interview: the life and death of my ambitious career“And”Nothing good can come from this.”

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