According to experts from the therapy organization ‘A Space Between’, Ungrateful people are often motivated by an inherent sense of entitlement in their lives. From relationships to workspaces and passing interactions, they overlook the empathy and energy that other people invest in them, assuming they are “worthy” solely because of their existence or perceived value.
There are several statements that ungrateful people often say, according to psychology, in their relationships that illustrate this right and can be “red flags” for people on the receiving end of their disconnected mindset. By acknowledging their gaslighting, their partners, friends, parents, and peers can set healthy boundaries and protect their emotional health and generosity from abuse.
Here are 11 phrases that ungrateful people often say, according to psychology
1. “You Owe Me”
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A study from the journal Personality and Social Psychology states that ungrateful people tend to focus too much on what is “missing” in their lives, rather than on what they already have, whether that is a healthy relationship, support, or financial stability. This inherent dissatisfaction can cultivate a toxic foundation for relationships, where a An ungrateful partner always sets impossible expectations for their equal.
By missing opportunities to empathize, thank and express gratitude to their partner, they also miss out on development in their relationships – including growing trust, intimacy and a sense of unconditional loyalty without entitlement. Partners of ungrateful people may develop people-pleasing tendencies in response to this behavior, feeling obligated to protect and support their partner out of necessity, rather than choice.
2. ‘Remember I was there when you had no one’
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Ungrateful people do not embody true loyalty in their relationships; instead, they urge their partners to “work on” their conditional loyalty with these types of statements. Their kindness, misplaced empathy and compassion only fuel their transactional view of relationships, giving them a toxic influence on future demands.
Their ungrateful tendencies also fuel manipulation tactics and emotional abuse, as they attempt to isolate their partners from their friends, family, and inner circles to exert more control over their daily lives. By suggesting that they were there when their partner “had no one,” they can manipulate their partner’s emotions and experiences to best suit their agenda and needs.
3. ‘I forgot that I only exist when you need something’
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According to a study by an American psychologistPeople who practice gratitude in their daily lives and relationships tend to experience fewer negative emotions than their ungrateful counterparts. When partners and individuals don’t prioritize gratitude in their lives, they tend to experience it inner turmoil filled with uncomfortable emotions such as guilt, shame and entitlement.
By burdening their partners with these emotions, many ungrateful people find relief, reassigning their guilt to their partners for not being 100% available to support or listen to them. As this cycle of intense emotions and manipulation continues, it only becomes more difficult for both an ungrateful person and the people in their life to refocus on the positive elements of their relationship.
4. ‘Loyalty is a privilege, not a right’
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Ungrateful people cultivate transactional relationships in every part of their lives, giving conditional love, admiration and loyalty to their relationships, which breeds resentment for everyone involved.
If they don’t get what they want or if a partner refuses to toxically sacrifice their well-being for the sake of a relationship, they will use these types of statements to emotionally blackmail others, even sabotaging their relationships through a sense of obligation to arouse. and guilt.
5. “No one ever thanks me when I do things for them”
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A 2023 study on gratitude suggests that children who grow up with caregivers and parents who put gratitude at the forefront of their lives often have better social relationships and more balanced emotional health than their ungrateful peers. While it is widely recognized that our parents’ modeling influences our well-being in adulthood, this practical example shows the tendency of transactional relationships to follow adult children into their own relationships.
If a parent expects gratitude in response to every parenting action—from picking you up to putting a “roof over your head” or buying groceries—their adult children are likely to carry this mentality into their romantic relationships, with behavior and actions that are simply inappropriate. the characteristics of a loving connection such as open communication or honesty.
They make their partners believe they are only “worthy” of loyalty, honesty, or love if they actively respond to it and express gratitude for it, rather than allowing it to manifest from the nature of unconditional love.
6. ‘You don’t deserve that’
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As one of the expressions that ungrateful people often say, according to psychology experts, it tends to manifest itself in response to a person’s emotional needs and communication.
A An ungrateful partner will almost always dismiss emotional needs when not being selfish or comfortable, cultivating a hostile space for the open communication necessary to maintain a healthy relationship. To them, a person only “earns” the basics of a healthy relationship when their ungrateful partner feels comfortable, happy, and supported.
7. ‘Why do you always make me feel this way?’
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Ungrateful people often refuse to take responsibility for their own actions and expect other people to sacrifice their own emotional well-being to support them in any way possible. They are ungrateful for the things their partner, friends, and family already do, even if they don’t reciprocate the same behavior.
If a 2019 study on blame shifting Revealed, most ungrateful people rely on this practice to “save face” when faced with the consequences of their own actions (or rather, inaction). By drawing attention to external factors, such as their partner’s behavior or habits, they can victimize themselves to further manipulate the people in their lives.
8. ‘Why am I always unhappy?’
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Research presented by Harvard Health Publishing revealed that people who express gratitude more often in their lives tend to be happier than their counterparts. Ungrateful people often feel chronically unfulfilled, from their own personal development to their relationships, because they struggle to thank other people in their lives.
In addition to the manipulation they continually rely on and the transactional nature of their relationships, their interactions are often guided by the fear and expectations they wrongly place on themselves.
9. ‘I wish I could afford that, but I can’t’
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Sometimes ungrateful people are much less direct when expressing veiled requests to the people in their lives. By playing the victim and by shifting guilt onto others, they can ask—without literally asking—for what they need, whether it’s emotional support or money.
If you have healthy connections, partners, family, and friends in your life, they will naturally react when you play the victim. They don’t want you to be in pain or in danger, so they will sacrifice their own well-being or boundaries to help.
10. ‘I didn’t ask you to do that for me’
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Ungrateful people rely on these kinds of statements because they know they will never actually “ask” people to do things for them. Open communication, emotional support and loyalty are characteristics of a healthy relationship.
So if your partner tries to justify their own actions and mistakes or shifts blame by relying on this phrase, remember: it says more about their perception of a healthy relationship than it does about your actions.
11. ‘You’re dishonest’
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Many ungrateful people ignore uncomfortable emotions such as guilt by shifting the blame to the other people in their lives. By suggesting that it is always the others who are wrong and victimizing themselves, they can manipulate others into overstepping their boundaries.
While it may seem “unfair” to ungrateful people who have unrealistically high expectations of the people in their lives, people who are reasserting their boundaries can protect their energy in these conversations and relationships.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango, focusing on health and wellness, social policy and human interest stories.
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