LANSING, Mich. (WLNS) – Engaging in political discussions during the holidays can be difficult. Michigan State University has some helpful tips to reduce anxiety and stress.
Elizabeth Dorrance Hall, associate professor of communication at Michigan State University College of Communication Arts and Sciences and director of MSU’s Family and Communication Relationships, shares five ways to approach these conversations in a press release sent to 6 News.
Think about your goal: Political conversations with family members can be challenging. If you’re considering talking politics with your family, it can be helpful to think about your goals. Is your goal to change your mind? Prove you’re right? Or maintain a relaxed family atmosphere?
Consider avoiding certain topics and setting boundaries with family members. If you want to get into a political discussion with family members you may disagree with, here are some tips:
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Listen to understand, not to react or judge others. Ask questions and stay curious.
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Consider several characteristics of your family relationships when deciding what to say: your past experiences and conversations, the current state of the relationship, and how your conversation today could affect the future of the relationship.
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Accept the reality that you may never agree with. Even though families start out with a shared worldview, people and their beliefs change over time as they grow and experience new things. Accept that you may have to live with disagreement.
Be honest about the stress you experience: People have a lot on their minds during the holidays. This can be mentally taxing and make it difficult to fully commit to a conversation or experience.
When the conversation at the dinner table shifts from reminiscing about shared memories to an intense conversation about the 2024 election, you may have or give an impulsive response due to the built-up stress.
Talking to others who can identify with you can ease the pressure and free up space for deeper conversations.
Vulnerability and trust are the key words when building and maintaining relationships.
Find out what you have in common: Discuss shared experiences as a means to overcome disagreements.
By building on family relationships we can reconnect. Reminiscing about old times and telling stories about loved ones that make everyone laugh is one way to do this. Remembering the people you all care about and the memories you share together can be a great way to connect.
Listen and validate: Your entire family may disagree with certain current events or politics. There’s a chance someone will bring up one of these topics at a holiday gathering.
You may instinctively defend your positions, which can lead to a one-sided conversation. Often during those conversations you only listen to make your next point, instead of listening to understand the other person.
Being an attentive listener during those conversations can be helpful. It is important not to automatically dismiss a position you disagree with.
It is important to validate the other person’s feelings, beliefs and emotions. Even if you don’t agree, you can validate the opinions of others by recognizing the reasons for their beliefs, asking genuine follow-up questions, giving your undivided attention, and being curious about their experiences.
Get an ally: Spending time with family during the holidays is complex. You can be happy to see them and grateful for the opportunity to be together, but still feel lonely, especially if you don’t share the same values and beliefs as many of your family members.
Find someone in your family who shares similar beliefs and values and who has been through experiences similar to yours. This person could be a sister, cousin, brother-in-law, parent, anyone you can vent to or make eye contact with at the dinner table.
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