Shirel Golan survived the October 7 massacre, but just over a year later the 22-year-old succumbed to its horrors and took her own life.
Now her older brother Eyal Golan, 36, vows to help other survivors who are struggling.
“I swore on my sister’s grave that I will become her voice and that of all Nova survivors,” Eyal told The Post from his parents’ garden in Porat, a quiet community in central Israel.
Shirel struggled with PTSD after the attack. @shirel.golan/Instagram
The youngest of five, Shirel loved children and worked as an assistant kindergarten teacher and counselor for children with special needs.
Eyal recalled how his sister always wanted to play with her eight nieces and nephews.
“Anytime any of us needed a sitter, she was the first to step up, no questions asked,” he said. “I’m trying to find the words to tell my three-year-old daughter that their aunt is no longer coming.”
Shirel, who had long brown hair and a nose ring, also had an artistic side and made and designed her own jewelry, which she sold at festivals and the like.
“Shirel was a free spirit. She loved freedom, she loved dancing and she loved creating,” Eyal said. “On the one hand, she was a vulnerable soul, but if you got on her nerves, she knew how to be fiery.”
Shirel Golan’s brother Eyal Golan speaks out about what happened to his sister – and vows to get more support to survivors. Thanks to Eyal Golan
She was just twenty years old when she attended the Nova Music Festival with her boyfriend of three years, Adi Gilad.
When Hamas terrorists stormed the peaceful event — killing some 400 people and abducting more than 40 others to Gaza — she and Gilad nearly attempted to escape in a vehicle that was later ambushed, killing all eleven people were left crammed together dead.
Instead, the two hid under a bush for hours until Remo Salman Al-Hozayel, an Arab-Bedouin police officer who had rescued 200 people, saved them.
In the first few days after the attack, Shirel seemed to be coping as well as could be expected. Her mother, Yaffa, remembered her daughter as “full of life.”
On October 20, 2023, Yaffa hosted a gathering to celebrate Shirel’s 21st birthday and express gratitude for her survival.
Shirel was close to her family, especially her siblings’ young children. Thanks to Eyal Golan
About 100 women, including many of Shirel’s friends, gathered for hafrashat challah – a Jewish ritual traditionally performed by women in which a portion of dough is separated during the baking of bread as a symbolic act of gratitude.
Shirel did not talk to her family about what she had experienced. They first heard about it during a television reunion between her and Al-Hozayel a month after the attacks.
“It was the most emotional conversation I have ever experienced,” Eyal remembers. “She saw everything.”
As the months passed, Shirel struggled and became increasingly withdrawn and emotionally distant. She had manic episodes and was hospitalized twice for psychiatric reasons. Her mother took early retirement to care for her.
Last August she stopped leaving the house altogether.
“Shirel was a free spirit,” Eyal says of his sister. @shirel.golan/Instagram
“She was closed. She didn’t want to talk to anyone or tell anyone about what she was going through,” Eyal recalled. “I saw it in her eyes. Shirel was always a girl full of light. But now it was as if someone had turned a dimmer switch until the light went out completely.”
On October 20, he went to his parents’ house to celebrate Sukkot. They left the house briefly to attend a blessing ceremony, leaving Shirel at home alone.
“I told her, ‘Shirel, you know you can call me anytime, at any hour.’ She just shrugged, okay, and went to her room,” he recalled.
By the time her parents got home, their beloved youngest daughter was dead, with dozens of unread birthday messages on her phone.
“I’m sorry I didn’t do more,” Eyal said.
In the months leading up to her death, Shirel stopped leaving the house. @shirel.golan/Instagram
He really wishes the Israeli government had done more too.
The state initially offered just 12 therapy sessions for Nova survivors, but increased that to 48 after an advocacy group pushed for more.
And, Eyal noted, the government-subsidized treatments are only available to those who actively seek them. Shirel never did that.
“It is the state’s job to identify children like my sister, who are introverted and do not want to ask for help,” Eyal said. “My sister managed to free herself from the clutches of the Nazi Hamas terrorists, but she could not do the same when faced with the clutches of the Israeli bureaucracy.”
Eyal is now working to start a nonprofit organization for Nova survivors and their families, providing both legal aid and mental health care.
Daniel and Neria Sharabi have started a non-profit organization that provides psychological support to Nova survivors, specifically through Eye Movement Desensitization. Thanks to Daniel Sharabi
Others have already stepped in to provide survivors with more support than the government has provided.
Daniel Sharabi, a former military doctor, and his brother Neria were celebrated as heroes for saving dozens of lives in Nova. They used weapons they found in a damaged tank to hold fleeing festival-goers under fire and later treated the wounded.
In the aftermath of the attacks, they started Future for the Survivors and the Wounded, a nonprofit organization that provides psychological support to Nova survivors, specifically through Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) – an advanced treatment known to help reduce of suffering due to traumatic memories.
Daniel, 24, credits EMDR with stopping the debilitating panic attacks he began experiencing after the attack.
The Tribe of Nova Foundation was founded by a number of festival producers. With thanks to the Tribe Of Nova Foundation
“Trauma is not like a broken hand,” he said. ‘It’s a heartbreak. Just one trigger can destroy a person.”
Although his panic attacks have subsided, he still struggles with deep guilt as a survivor. His best friend, Yosef Haim Ohana, escaped the initial attack but was later kidnapped to Gaza and remains there today. Another good friend, Karin Zourno, was burned alive.
“We couldn’t help them. That’s something I have to carry with me every hour of the day. But when I do something good, it fulfills me and takes away some of the guilt,” Daniel said.
One of the most prominent groups to emerge from the massacre is the Nova Tribe Foundationthat was started by some festival producers.
It offers a range of services for survivors, including weekly ‘community days’ where they can access psychologists and take part in therapeutic activities and social events. Tribe also helps with work reintegration and offers sports programs to get survivors out of the house.
The ultra-Orthodox group Kesher Yehudi aims to bridge the gap between secular and religious communities in Israel, regularly hosting hundreds of Nova survivors and hostage families for immersive Shabbat experiences. Thanks to Kesher Yedudi
Nova organizer Raz Malka left his role as a portfolio manager at a Tel Aviv startup to volunteer full-time at the foundation.
“It was just the logical thing to do,” he said. “We came from a place where we felt like no one understands us. As much as outsiders wanted to help, it simply wasn’t effective. Only the survivors could truly understand and support each other.”
Meanwhile, ultra-Orthodox group Kesher Yehudi aims to bridge the gap between secular and religious communities in Israel, regularly hosting hundreds of Nova survivors and hostage families for immersive Shabbat experiences.
Survivor Idan Mizrachi recently attended a two-day retreat in Jerusalem organized by Kesher Yehudi.
“On the one hand, she was a vulnerable soul, but if you got on her nerves, she knew how to be fiery,” Eyal said of Shirel. @shirel.golan/Instagram
For Mizrachi, memories of the attack linger and sometimes paralyze her. Certain scenes remain etched in his memory, including a chilling moment when an unarmed young man, who appeared to be a Gaza civilian, jumped on a car and slaughtered its driver with a box cutter before driving away in the vehicle.
Being part of these retreats allows Mizrachi to restore some of his faith in humanity.
“The world got scary after October 7. It’s hard for me to trust people again,” he said. “Seeing that there are still people who want to do good is healing.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline on 988.
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