Jenny and Simon Brunton
cordially invited their wedding guests
to donate to their house fund
with this poem:
We know it’s not tradition,
it’s not the way it’s done.
Instead of something from our registry,
We like to have a little fun.
Our apartment is full of everything
might require a few,
and therefore a honeymoon/future home
is something we long for.
If you are thinking about giving a gift
to help us on our way,
a gift for our honeymoon/future home
would really make our day!
To celebrate their wedding last November, Jenny and Simon Brunton decided to make their wedding registry a little different.
They found a poem online and posted it on their wedding website so they could explain their decision to their friends and family.
“We know it’s not a tradition, it’s not the way it’s done. Instead of something that’s not on our register, we’d like to have some fun,” the poem began.
It continued: “Our apartment is stocked with everything a couple could need, and so a honeymoon/future home is something we desire. If you are thinking of giving a gift to get us started, a gift for our honeymoon/future home would really make our day!”
To use The Knota wedding planning website that helps couples create their registries, the Bruntons asked guests for monetary gifts to put toward the purchase of a home, rather than physical gifts to fill that home. They set up a separate fund that would go towards their honeymoon costs.
I think there’s also pressure from generations of families that it’s tradition to do a registry, and I just felt like it didn’t fit what we needed.
– Jenny Brunton
“I feel like half the time people buy these things for you and it’s like, where do you even put it, and are we going to use it in a year?” said Jenny Brunton, 28, who works as a sales manager at a restaurant in Garden City. “Things change. I think there’s also pressure from generations of families that it’s tradition to do a registry, and I just felt like it didn’t fit what we needed.”
Using websites like The Knot, along with Zola And Honey fundbrides and grooms can add a cash fund to their wedding registry. On The Knot, the fund can be added as an option for guests, alongside a list of gifts from various stores, or used on its own, as the Bruntons did.
The Knot launched this feature in 2017. The website offers pre-named funds (“New Home Fund,” “Honeymoon Fund” and “Home Appliances” are a few options) or couples have the option to name the fund themselves.
According to their own national data, the share of couples on The Knot using new housing funds on their marriage register has increased by 62% since 2018. Now, nearly 20% of couples registered on The Knot require guests to contribute toward their down payment on their first home.
Couples on The Knot include “house funds” as part of their wedding registry:
An increase of 62% since 2018
Percentage of couples registered on The Knot asking guests to help with deposits:
Almost 20%
Esther Lee, deputy editor of The Knot, lives in Philadelphia and went through the homebuying process in 2022.
“I didn’t know there were so many different facets,” Lee said, “with unexpected costs and things that come along the way, the biggest of which is the down payment. I realized that unless you are educated about the process of buying a home, many people don’t meet the standard 10-25% they use, which in the context of Long Island is a significant amount.”
The average couple can’t always deal with that, she added. “So it’s such a benefit to have that support from loved ones, especially as they cross the threshold of one milestone, it actually drives them to the next one.”
On The Knot, couples link their bank account directly to their registry to receive funds directly, with a 2.5% credit card fee for the donor. Of Long Island couples with cash included in their wedding registry on The Knot, 24% have a new house fund set aside for their 2024 weddings.
24% of Long Island couples
have created monetary funds on The Knot Registry in 2024
Monique Hamilton, who runs Monique Hamilton Events, a business that primarily plans weddings, said many couples are shifting their priorities when it comes to wedding gifts.
“People are getting married a little bit older, people are not doing what was done in the past in terms of living at home with mom and dad,” said Hamilton, whose company is based in Nassau County. “They live alone, or a lot of couples live together before they get married. So I think what people are asking for has changed as a result of those changes.”
The decision to focus on a new housing fund for their wedding seemed clear to Brunton, she said.
“My husband and I lived in a very small basement apartment at the time,” Brunton said. “And we tried to think of things that we needed that I could put on the registry, but being in a small apartment, we already had everything we needed at the moment.”
The couple moved from their Bethpage apartment to Jenny Brunton’s childhood home in Levittown to save extra money for their forever home.
“We’re not looking now,” she said. “We just know that whatever house we’re going to buy first is going to be something we can’t necessarily afford, and we’re just going to have to do a massive renovation.”
They could start with an apartment or townhouse before looking for something more permanent, Brunton added.
“We think if we start small, with an apartment, at least it’s temporary and we still own something,” she said. “Then in the future, when we are hopefully in a better financial position, we can buy a house in an area where we want to grow.”
Looking back, the fund is so much better… If we want to buy a house, we can buy the things we want and need at a later date.
– Jenny Brunton
Looking back on her wedding a year ago, Brunton is glad she and her husband set up a house fund instead of asking for other gifts.
“Looking back, the fund is so much better,” she said. “We have the money we made in savings, and if we want to buy a house, we can buy the things we want and need at a later date.”
Hamilton said brides and grooms may face resistance if they don’t opt for a conventional registry, but weddings (and the housing market) simply aren’t the same as they were decades ago.
“I think it’s important for people to understand that some traditional norms are changing, and that’s okay,” she said. “It’s okay for a couple to want to do things their way.”
Rachel Weiss joined Newsday in 2016. As a multimedia real estate/housing reporter, Rachel writes feature stories, contributes to and appears in on-camera video packages. She was the lead reporter for Newsday’s LI Acts of Kindness series.
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