An advice column where Chicago can ask questions about how to handle life transitions, relationships, family, finances and more.
When I’m stressed about turning in tough writing assignments, my mom suggests, “Why don’t you turn in two and see which one your boss likes best?”
Great idea. But that is not really encouraged in journalism. From serious government reporting to fun entertainment articles: you have to get it right the first time, stick to your words and feel good about the story that will live on forever in the archives.
When it comes to giving advice – as I do on Sundays – I realized that those printed words (for better or for worse) have held me accountable as the person who tells Chicago the “best way” to deal with discomfort and overcome conflicts. Don’t let my little brother catch me while I’m on the wrong side of the sidewalk. I even irritate myself when I think about being an adult like one of my own best friends befriend someone I don’t like.
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As 2024 comes to a close, I thought I’d be honest with you about what advice I personally found difficult to follow, what topic has helped me become a more understanding person, and how one reader overcame a problem after coming to me for advice had come. Was I helpful at all?
Ignoring the politics of a loved one
In a column published on November 3, the week of the presidential election, I suggested that “to keep the peace with those we love, we must face things that make us uncomfortable and do our best to avoid them.” to find a solution.” And girl – did I have to face something uncomfortable.
In the weeks after the election, I realized that I was the loud political person my family was growing tired of.
I knew I was pushing it with my big brother in the group chat. But one day my little brother came home and basically said, “My mom called and complained that you spent half an hour talking about immigration.”
It was like complaining about a smell all day and finding out it was you all the time.
In this situation, I realized (although it was not easy) that the best way for me to keep the peace with my family was to keep my mouth shut.
Strong feelings about suicide
I liked this entry because it was raw and honest. A friend was going crazy after losing two friends to suicide. That’s real.
But it also built on the assumption that many of us believed in growing up: that suicide was selfish and very much a choice.
After learning about “survivors of suicide loss” and about the “suicidal trance,” I ended the column by saying, “…go ahead and be angry.” But for the sake of you and your lost friends, I hope you eventually find a way to turn that anger into compassion.”
A Chicago mother who recently lost a child to suicide contacted me the week after this column was published. She said she found the information very helpful as she tried to cope with the tragedy.
Overcoming the picky eater
I have a lot of opinions, but I understand when I may not be the best source. When that’s the case, I turn to experts, like when an Oak Park mom said she was struggling with her picky-eating toddler.
A speech therapist said: “Try to keep eating as positively as possible. Even when it seems like it’s a really, really bad day.
I reached out to see how the mother and son were doing, and this is what she said:
“After writing down the question and reading your answer, I decided to tackle his picky eating in a different way.
“Instead of constantly worrying about whether he was getting enough variety during the day, I was happy that he was at least eating something. When I stopped stressing, I noticed that he started showing interest in different foods. (Previously) he just ate peanut butter sandwiches, but recently he started discovering new proteins, like fish and chicken!
Write to Someone in Chicago at [email protected].
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